10 gentle ways to practice loving yourself this Valentines
Introduction:
Valentine’s Day can feel overwhelming for women in their 40s, especially when it seems like you’re sitting at a crossroads. You may no longer relate to the carefree dating culture of your 20s, nor feel connected to the early‑romance stage of long‑term relationships. Perhaps you haven’t settled into — or have stepped away from — the “traditional family” narrative society expects. You might be navigating singlehood stigma, or on the other side of the spectrum, feeling the weight of relationship fatigue. When you add hormonal shifts and competing priorities into the mix, Valentine’s Day can easily feel more like a chore than a celebration of love.
Yet love comes in many forms, whether single, married or somewhere in between make the most of this Valentines by practicing self love and care, through rest, reflection, and rituals that restore balance. Self-love isn’t about grand gestures or fleeting indulgences—it’s about cultivating a daily practice of kindness, respect, and compassion toward yourself. For women navigating midlife, this becomes especially vital as responsibilities shift and personal priorities evolve. Aligned with our theme of Creating Space and Calm, these ten self-love practices offer practical ways to nurture self-love, each offering a pathway to greater clarity and emotional wellbeing.
1. Release Perfectionism
Perfectionism often disguises itself as ambition, but in reality, it can drain joy and create unnecessary pressure. Loving yourself means embracing your imperfections as part of your authentic story. When you let go of the need to be flawless, you open space for growth, creativity, and genuine connection.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparison is a thief of joy. Whether it’s career milestones, relationships, or appearances, measuring yourself against others only fuels insecurity. Remember most people only share the best versions of themselves on social media, the perfect relationship milestones and happy contented family life. Real life isn’t like that so instead, focus on your own journey—your strengths, your progress, and the unique path you’re walking. Self-love thrives when you celebrate your individuality.
3. Practice Daily Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful anchor. By writing down three things you’re thankful for each day, you shift your perspective from scarcity to abundance. This simple ritual helps you recognise the beauty in small moments and reminds you that your life is already filled with sources of joy.
4. Use Affirmations
Words carry energy, and the way you speak to yourself matters. Affirmations such as “I am worthy of love and happiness” or “I choose peace today” can reframe your mindset and build resilience. Practicing affirmations daily is like watering the roots of your self-esteem.
5. Unplug Regularly
Constant connectivity can leave us overstimulated and disconnected from ourselves. Taking intentional breaks from social media and technology allows you to recharge, reflect, and reconnect with what truly matters. Loving yourself means protecting your mental space from unnecessary noise.
6. Live in the Present Moment
It’s easy to get caught up in regrets about the past or worries about the future. Practicing mindfulness—whether through breathing exercises, meditation, or simply noticing your surroundings—helps you anchor in the present. Self-love flourishes when you allow yourself to fully experience the here and now.
7. Prioritise Rest and Sleep
Rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Honouring your body’s need for sleep and downtime is a profound act of self-love. Create a soothing bedtime routine, limit late-night screen time, and allow yourself to recharge. A well-rested mind and body are better equipped to handle life’s demands. Read my tips for creating a good sleep routine here.
8. Move Your Body with Kindness
Exercise should never feel like punishment. Instead, choose movement that brings joy—whether it’s dancing, yoga, walking in nature, or gentle stretching. Moving your body with kindness strengthens not only your physical health but also your emotional wellbeing.
9. Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are a declaration of self-respect. Saying no when necessary and protecting your energy ensures that your needs are honoured. Loving yourself means recognising that you cannot pour from an empty cup—and that it’s okay to prioritise your own wellbeing.
10. Celebrate Small Wins
Too often, we overlook the progress we’ve made because we’re focused on the next big goal. Celebrating small wins—whether finishing a task, sticking to a routine, or simply making it through a tough day—reinforces your sense of accomplishment. Self-love grows when you acknowledge and honour your efforts.
Practicing self-love is not about perfection or performance—it’s about cultivating gentle, consistent habits that remind you of your worth. By releasing comparison, embracing gratitude, and creating space for rest and boundaries, you build a foundation of compassion that sustains you not just for valentines day but through every season of life.
