
Recognising the Emotional Signs of Perimenopause
This post aims to help readers identify and validate the emotional experiences of perimenopause, with signs to look for and ways to understand their experience.
When Everything Feels Too Much
Let me say from the outset—I’m not a medical expert in perimenopause, just someone who’s learned a lot through lived experience. If you have any concerns or worries please do consult your own medical professional. Still, it feels important to name it here. I’ve lost count of how many women around my age I’ve spoken to at work who quietly admit they feel like they’re “losing the plot.” And more often than not, hormones are part of the story.
I remember when mine first went haywire—sobbing uncontrollably at the sheer cuteness of my guinea pig’s sleeping feet, convinced something was deeply wrong with me. The world as I knew it was ending. I had lost the plot and was genuinely concerned for my mental health. That emotional chaos didn’t just happen once—it became a pattern. It took time to connect the dots to perimenopause, and even longer for my GP to catch up.
Through my work and own personal research, I now understand this is incredibly common—yet still rarely spoken about. So here it is: my gentle attempt to name the emotional overwhelm that can come with perimenopause, and to offer a few ways to navigate it with kindness and clarity.
For many, perimenopause can feel like a season of emotional unpredictability—where familiar routines suddenly feel overwhelming, and inner calmness seems harder to reach. This phase arrives not just with physical shifts, but with a quiet storm of mood swings, mental fatigue, and a sense of being overly emotional, and at breaking point. If you’ve found yourself wondering why everything feels “too much” lately, you’re not alone. This isn’t a personal failing—it’s a natural, often under-acknowledged part of transition.
In this post, we’ll gently explore what emotional overwhelm looks like during perimenopause, and offer tools to help you notice, soothe, and navigate it with kindness.
What Emotional Overwhelm Looks Like
These emotional shifts can be hard to name, especially when they show up in everyday life and don’t seem to “fit” the situation. But they’re common, and you’re not imagining them. Here are a few patterns many women notice during perimenopause
Tearfulness or sudden mood shifts:
You might find yourself crying more easily than usual—sometimes over things that wouldn’t normally affect you, or for reasons you can’t quite explain. This one was a big one for me. The uncontrollable crying, happy, sad, joyful, stressed or overwhelmed. Pick an emotion and I would cry and then not be able to stop.
Irritability or anxiety that feels out of proportion
Everyday situations—like a minor disagreement or a change in plans—can trigger intense emotional reactions that feel bigger than they “should.”
Mental fatigue and brain fog:
Concentrating can feel like wading through mud. You might forget words mid-sentence, lose track of tasks, or feel mentally drained even after simple activities.
Feeling overstimulated by normal life:
Noise, clutter, decisions, or social interactions might suddenly feel exhausting or overwhelming, even if they never used to.
Physical Symptoms That Quietly Add to the Emotional Overwhelm
Alongside emotional shifts, many women notice physical symptoms that quietly add to the sense of overwhelm. These changes can feel intrusive, unpredictable, and hard to explain—especially when they affect your sleep, energy, or comfort in your own body.
Disrupted sleep:
You might wake up in the early hours and struggle to fall back asleep or feel exhausted despite getting a full night’s rest. You can read my top tips for a better night’s sleep here.
Hot flushes and night sweats:
These can leave you feeling unsettled, anxious, or physically drained before the day even begins.
Heart palpitations:
Sudden flutters or racing sensations can feel alarming, especially when they happen without a clear cause.
Aching joints and muscle tension:
Everyday movements might feel stiff or sore, adding a layer of discomfort that wears on your patience and energy.
Bloating or unexpected weight changes:
These shifts can affect how you feel in your body and make simple routines—like getting dressed—feel frustrating or unfamiliar.
The Overwhelm Tracker: A Gentle Way to Notice
To help you understand whether the symptoms are related to Perimenopause one of the things that you can do is start to track symptoms. Tracking symptoms during perimenopause can be surprisingly empowering. It helps you move from confusion to clarity—giving shape to what can otherwise feel like emotional and physical chaos. It can have the following benefits:
- Helps shift from confusion to clarity by giving shape to emotional and physical chaos
- Reveals patterns—like emotional dips linked to poor sleep or cycle changes
- Encourages self-understanding instead of self-blame
- Makes conversations with health professionals more focused and productive
- Invites kind observation rather than reactive frustration
- Makes conversations with health professionals easier and more focussed
A Signal, Not a Failure
Emotional overwhelm during perimenopause isn’t a sign that you’re broken—it’s a signal that something is shifting. These intense feelings often arise during times of transition, when your body and mind are recalibrating. Instead of viewing this chaos as weakness, try to see it as a call for gentleness and attention.
Perimenopause and menopause are significant life transitions that can bring physical, emotional, and mental changes—often with more questions than answers. Whether you’re just beginning to notice shifts or are deep in the experience, finding reliable, compassionate resources can make all the difference. The websites below offer expert guidance, practical tools, and supportive communities to help you feel informed, validated, and more in control of your wellbeing during this phase of life.
The Menopause Charity:
Evidence-based info, real-life stories, symptom tracking tools, and advocacy resources. No pharma influence. You can find their website here.
The menopause exchange:
Free independent advice on perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopausal health. You can find their website here.
The NHS menopause help and support:
Guidance from GPs, nurses, and menopause specialists. Includes info on HRT, CBT, and talking therapies. You can find their website here.
Menopause may bring its own set of challenges, but it doesn’t have to feel isolating or unmanageable. By exploring these resources, you’re already taking a powerful step toward clarity and self-compassion. If the information feels overwhelming, remember: you don’t have to absorb it all at once. On Relaxed Squirrel, we often return to the idea of creating space and calm—whether through cultivating a soul-loving environment or learning how to spend time where it truly matters.
